There is scarcely a time I have felt good after doing my bank work. Some instances:
The phone number
Needed to update the phone number associated with my account.
My bank has a big-ass website without any means to change my number. After calling customer service I discovered that the only way to change my number would be to physically visit a branch, fill up a form and wait “upto 7 working days” till they updated my number
. This is in an age when you can instantly verify a phone number by sending an OTP.
The signature
Life once again presented me the joyous occasion of a bank visit; while running through the motions of some paperwork I was asked to sign a document and submit it to a bank lady present. To my chagrin I was told my documents couldn’t be processed because my signatures didn’t match.
So as it plays out in the course of human life, people get older, wiser, fatter, their attitudes and personalities change and sometimes so do their signatures.
But my bank doesn’t give a rats ass about my little epiphanies or my physical and mental development.
So there I stood all annoyed and hopeless, I tried convincing the bank lady to completely ignore that signature, asked her why she needed a signature when I was standing before her in flesh and blood, but to no avail.
I ultimately ended up filling the form all over again and proceeded to forge my own signature so I could get done with my bank work and run free from that madhouse.
The courier
The bank, my bestie, came calling again. They told me that if I put some of my money in some new places, I would have more money; they showed some “Investment Brochure” and I was like “Well shit! Who ain’t gonna do that! Money for nothing”. But to get me “investing” they needed once again .. drumroll .. you will never believe this .. some signed documents!
My “virtual relationship manager” sent me something that I was supposed to print, fill and physically mail to their head office. Me being a little digital nerd had completely forgotten that people still sent paper across the country
. I found a courier guy but found his rates a tad too high so I decided to go the post office, stick some stamps and get it done the cheap; that didn’t go as planned
. The post office was a crowded scary place full of old people and I didn’t even know where to find the stamps. I went back to the courier guy and quietly did his bidding
. My relationship manager lady called back a while later with some bad news, she said my documents had been rejected because I had forgotten to sign on my photo. So I would have to fill the form again and courier it again
. Why couldn’t they just make me fill an online form and prevent all errors on the spot.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻.
To be continued …