Fresh off the plane — My Yelp review of the U
S
Spoiler alert — it’s a solid 3.8
“Astronauts from India and the USA bumping fists on mars vibrant cyberpunk synthwave artstation” | Generated by Dall-E
My contextIn August 2021, I moved to the US in an attempt to put paid to my long-distance relationship which, like another thing that began in 2019, had gone on too long. Things worked out — a new job and 2 visa changes later — I was reunited with my lover and became an official resident of San Francisco
.
Changing countries is a monumental shift in lifestyle. Some even proclaim that “ Geography is destiny ”. From small things like how much to smile in photos to serious things like access to healthcare, the cards in the deck are different everywhere.
In India, I’ve spent 30 years growing up in Mumbai (née Bombay) and working across Hyderabad and Bangalore. While in the US, I’ve lived for about a year exclusively in San Francisco . Most importantly, I’m also a tall, handsome, well-educated, near perfect man (or so sayeth me mom and wife). So, my experiences might not resonate with everyone . I write this for the pedantic joy of chronicling my new life and contrasting it with the past.
Now, on to the promised Yelp review.
The Good ** Public services are amazing ** — I got my SSN (the de facto ID in the US) and learners license in a breeze. Visiting the DMV was mildly chaotic, but my work got done decently fast given the queue
. No bribes or middlemen were needed. Relatedly, I was stunned when I saw the San Francisco Public Library — you can barely get access to such a well-resourced library even if you paid in India
. I cite these as examples of a more general pattern. 4.5/5 ** Planned cities and infrastructure ** — The general quality of public civil engineering in India is absolute dogshit
. Broken pavements, shitty roads full of potholes, unplanned cities with stick thin roads intersecting at weird angles, … the list can go on. It rains cats and dogs every monsoon in Mumbai
. And every year without fail the streets get flooded. We’ve never been able to fix the problem, and it’s not for the lack of money. Mumbai has India’s richest municipal corporation
. In San Francsico, I was so amazed by straight roads that I literally put my head to the curb to observe the straight line of the pavement! Addresses are as simple as 
The master plan of Manhattan | MCNY ** Systems ** — The idea of systems permeates life much more in the US. One example is traffic . We have traffic rules in India too, but nobody follows them. So, drivers and pedestrians (and cows and elephants) are in a constant negotiation making things slower for everyone . In the US, because everyone obeys the traffic lights, cars can go faster, and drivers don’t suffer random interruptions. Pedestrians can safely cross roads provided they do it at the correct time . There is order here, while India breathes chaos. This also means my commute is ~100% predictable in the US whereas 5 kms can suddenly take 1.5 hours in India . People generally seem more law-abiding too. 5/5 ** Consumerism Olympic gold ** — If consumerism was a sport, the US would triumph harder than Michael Phelps . From Walmart to CostCo to BevMo, the USA is littered with stadium sized retail experiences and American consumers are blessed with choice. The depth and breadth of items available is staggering . The average Safeway here has more varieties of booze than most cities in India. From cheap Chinese stuff to boutique shit to luxury brands, it’s all here . You can try the same searches on Amazon.com and Amazon.in to experience the difference. One nit-pick; the US smartphone market is a weird duopoly between Apple and Samsung . The Indian smartphone market has way more phones and brands, that aren’t available in the US! 4.3/5 ** Weather, national parks and natural beauty ** — This was a real surprise to me . The US has immense ecological diversity and does an amazing job in to protecting it through national parks. The national parks are well-maintained, have rangers patrolling for public safety, offer a good escape from urban life and a chance to see stunning natural beauty . I had my breath taken away when I saw a sky full of stars on a clear night in the Colorado sand-dunes. Almost started believing in God again. Coming from smoggy Mumbai, I can literally see and smell the cleaner air here in California. 5/5 ** Insane economic prospects ** — Both the breadth & depth of economic opportunity in the US is staggering . Hollywood, Silicon Valley, Wall Street, and Area51 👽, they’re all here. For 99% of fields, India lacks depth . Even in my domain of software where India has made some head way, most Indian companies are operating at the application layer, while the deeper domains like operating systems, etc. don’t have as many players or people. 5/5
The Meh ** Food ** — American food is … pizza, burgers and coke? American companies have been a wee bit too successful at exporting it, so there’s no novelty eating what I can eat in India too. Obviously, the depth and quality of said foods is much better here
. I deeply appreciate my access to many choices and varieties of steak. I also appreciate the beef isn’t banned here (unlike my home state of Maharashtra)
. That said, American food doesn’t hold a candle to the depth and breadth of Indian food. If the “ 7 wonders of the world ” was a list about food, all 7 would easily come from India
. Indian food is one of the things I miss the most. A big chunk of Indian food culture revolves around small shops and street food vendors. They are the lifeblood of urban India
. Whether you want a filter coffee and dosa to start your day, or a cup of ginger tea for an afternoon slump, or a quick vada pav as you commute back home; the streets of India have you covered
. I’ve hardly seen anything of that sort in the US. 2/5 ** Low density ** — Coming from Mumbai; I’m used to being surrounded by throngs of people. My initial days in the US felt like being on 28 Days Later
. No one for miles (or kilometres). I enjoy solitude but gosh there’s almost no public in so many public spaces. I think I discovered true silence for the first time only in the US. Quantity has quality of its own , and urban India’s dense living, mixed with low boundaries on personal space bring about a totally different life. 2 /5
Borivali, Mumbai | Photo by ikshit Patel on Unsplash ** Car driven landscape ** — India’s biggest retail unit is the kirana — a neighbourhood shop that sells everyday goods. There are millions of them, they’re everywhere and within walking distance of most residences . Heck my last house had a full store inside our complex (quite common in India). I was shocked when I found out that many US complexes have nothing of that sort . There is nothing at walking distance and you have to pull out your car and drive to buy that packet of milk you might’ve forgotten. Living in America feels like watching humans scavenge in the remains of an ancient city where cars used to live. 1/5 ** Urban aesthetics ** — The whole country looks like a dilapidated grey coloured blob . The road infra is old. I feel as if there was a construction boom some decades ago which suddenly stopped, and everything was put in maintenance mode . I did praise Walmart and CostCo for choice, but visually they’re literal grey soulless boxes (take a note IKEA friends). Mumbai has the gaping contrast of high-rise residential building and the world’s most expensive residence towering over middle-class homes, shanties, and slums . San Francisco neither has the towers nor the slums, it does have a smattering of homeless people though. The building heights in San Francisco are so low, squinting a little I almost feel I am in 1822 instead of 2022. 2/5 ** Personal space ** — This is a mixed bag and cuts both ways . In the US, while people are very sociable and polite, they maintain their distance, keeping work & life separate. Conversations are often superficial . In India, it won’t take 5 mins for someone to ask if you’re single, how much you earn, and try to set you up with their cousin for marriage; and then 5 mins later do that with the person next to you . I like the personal space in the US. However, one downside of that is making new social connections becomes harder. 3.5/5
The Bad ** Ridiculous financially optimized healthcare system ** — India has the classic health care problems. Not enough doctors, shitty facilities, poor people who can’t afford treatments, etc
. I belong to a fortunate class of urbanities in India that can access & afford private health care, facing much fewer of these issues. You can book appointments online or just walk-in to the nearest doctor
. The US healthcare process is convoluted to put it mildly. No one asks what your problem is, they want to know what your insurance is first. I had a moderately painful toothache and after calling 10 doctors and failing (either no reply or rejected because of insurance issues), I finally got an appointment for a week later
. Jeez. God forbid if I had a more serious issue. Procedures are wildly overpriced. I think I paid $100 for a dental X-ray which would’ve cost $2 in India
. I find it appalling and absurd that this is the status quo in the same country that excels in medical R&D. That said, the USA has amazing emergency services that are super-fast and effective
. In India, you’re on your own. -1/5 
In hindsight, Breaking Bad was actually a documentary on the American healthcare system (and drug trade!) ** Drugs ** — There are entire blocks of San Francisco full of spaced-out junkies, swimming in trash, with needles and shit around them. This was scary and surreal to me . I work on Market St, an arterial road in San Francisco which after 10 pm transforms into a literal Gotham city with drug dealers and junkies in hoodies and masks going about shady shit openly with nary a word from the cops . Eek! 💉/5 ** Guns ** — America’s reputation with guns is well known. In my first few months in the US, every time I heard a loud noise I was like “OMG! WE HAVE A SHOOTER SITUATION! UNDER THE TABLES EVERYONE” . Fortunately, it was everyday things like tyre bursts and never an actual shooter. The never-ending stories of Walmart shootings, school shootings, and muggings have a decreasing but ever-present place in my head . I now interpret it as India’s rape problem. It’s bad, it is far from what it should be, but the reality is a far cry from what the media portrays it to be. 🔫☠ ️/5
Wrapping upMy experiences aren’t too different from an Italian immigrant who sailed to New York, a hundred years before me.
“I came to America because I heard the streets were paved with gold. When I got here, I found out three things: First, the streets weren’t paved with gold; second, they weren’t paved at all; and third, I was expected to pave them.” Or to quote a [Tik
Tok](https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8NG2HR8/) “Now that I’m really looking at em .. this bitch kinda ugly ” I would still consider it an upgrade for me. Overall, I would rate the US a strong 3.8. Stop taking it easy in fundamental areas like healthcare, and it’s an easy 4 . Crossing 4.5 would need things like better public transport.
As Winston Churchill famously (didn’t) say “You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after they have exhausted all the other possibilities. ”. That moment might soon be here . I am hopeful.
Bonus rant
The US has a much better reputation outside. Between the might of the dollar, military-political power & reputation for blowing up countries on flimsy pretexts (🇮🇶, 🇦🇫); the US is feared and loved, like the country-equivalent of Michael Scott. It was a tragicomedy to see those same politicians inflict bad things on their own people too! Politicians here do insider trading, t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶b̶r̶i̶b̶e̶s get “lobbied”, and much more . Closer home, watching the San Francisco city government has been a total joy— there’s the epic $1.7 Mn toilet, there’s a whole department of city workers two-timing for private companies, and the director of public works taking bribes . This is what I’ve lazily bumped into in a year. This doesn’t feel very first world-ish at all .
A learning for me has is the moving between these countries involves a lot of trade-offs, but those trade-offs have gotten narrower. India might’ve slam-dunked US until the 1700s, and US might’ve slam-dunked India until 1991 . But things have changed, and the comparison can’t be so abstract and pointed anymore. People slap monikers like “ developed ” and “ developing ” on entire countries . The expression encodes a colonial view of the world — here stand we, the wise & “developed”, there stand they the P̶o̶o̶r̶,̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶r̶d̶-̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶, “developing” savages.
Are western countries done ? Nope! Progress is eternal. This vocabulary also ignores things taking a total back-slide. Should the once bustling Detroit still be called developed? As I mentioned above, many aspects are anything but developed . We need to cure ourselves of the mind virus of Anglocentrism.
Bonus pet peeves
- The US needs jets, in the toilet [ Graphic details about inferiority of toilet paper omitted but available upon request]- Tipping is bullshit. Raise the price and pay your staff.- Stop leaving my mail/deliveries on the porch or building entrance, give it to me in my hand.- Why don’t houses have lights?! Why do I have to buy them separately?- Why do people have to earn leave? In India, you’re just granted leaves- Why are salary payments fortnightly? Make rent fortnightly too then?!- What’s with the feed the family and then some portion sizes? Originally posted on my blog.