I’m a Christian by birth and it’s over-arching influence has shaped my life. Side-note: Christianity is to modern western civilisation what water is to fish. Yet like all faithful Christians, my Church attendance and participation in church activities has gone down. I’ve traversed the full spectrum in terms of belief and involvement. I started off as a sincere obedient child who went to regularly went to church, was an altar boy, sang in the choir, went to Sunday school, was part of the Legion Mary and did noble things like collecting money for charity and visiting hospitals, orphanages, old age homes to help, participated in and organised events for various groups affiliated with the church. But all of these are no more. I don’t go to Church voluntarily. When I visit my family, I attend mass out of social obligation. Some of the prayers have changes, making me feel like a stranger and reminding me that I haven’t been there in a while . Saying “Oh God!” when I hear unwelcome news, is about as religious as I can get. I don’t believe in God anymore, I’m a happy nihilist but not the religion hating atheist type . I do not despise the faithful. Faith, hope and meaning colour our lives and keep us alive. And yours is as good and as beautiful as mine. I do not see the need to create a class hierarchy amongst belief systems and subtly elevate myself.

But this exit from the Church has definitely come up with own losses. My wife, most of my friends, and majority of the people around me Hindus. Hinduism is very laissez faire. Apart from a few festivals which are widely celebrated, the believer is free to choose which God they place their faith in and how they go about adhering to it. Christianity is much more demanding and life encompassing, on the spectrum towards Islam and Amish who are even more so. Christianity is not an individualistic act of showing up at Church, it is participating in a lively community where faith played but a small part. Most Churches come with school and playgrounds where you can play games like football, walk around, take your kids for a stroll, or just generally hang out . This is where I made the bulk of my friends in my school years. Sunday school and Youth associations are more medium for the young to hang out together, socialise and get to know other . Teenage boys love Sunday school because they get to be around the girls.

Various church-affiliated organisations allow people of all ages to mingle together for various causes. They range from the musical like the Church choir, to the charitable ones like the St . Vincent de Paul society (which in my parish was the stronghold of the grandmothers, the younger folks went to the Legion of Mary)

So, leaving the church has meant that I’ve that thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Abandoning all the calls to good behaviour and amazing community interactions for Facebook and Twitter. But through my productivity experiments, I’ve accidentally ended up reconstructing some Church-like habits.

• Saturdays are officially “do nothing day” for me. Time for slow living, rest and reflection; just like the Sabbath.

• Every Saturday morning, I watch one or both of these videos (I, II) for exhortation and inspiration. They are huge motivation pumps for me, like a good sermon.

• This is followed by a weekly review, where I reflect on how the past week went, how I’m feeling and check how I am doing against my life goals. I don’t beat myself up for my failings, just acknowledge how things are and promise to do better next week . This like a weekly pre-mass confession.

• My annual goals are like my 10 commandments, they form the basis of my weekly and monthly goals. I revise them when the calendar year ends. I haven’t been able to recreate the community aspect fully, I am a part of scores of Whatsapp groups, mailing lists, etc. But this is not the same. Most of them are from social or professional affiliations like college friends or product managers . I haven’t found or participated in ones with selfless social causes. For now, I have decided to focus on 1:1 relationships and just calling people more.